Found on pissedgays yahoo group

Jason was only 16 when he was forced to live on the streets because
of his family's homophobia. Jason's problem is a hidden but
widespread phenomenon according to the Australian Gay and Lesbian
Research Centre, which estimates between 10,000 and 13,000 gay,
lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth to be living without a home
at any one time in Australia.

Jason wears the scars of his past in his gentle but uneasy persona;
his hands shake incessantly, his bright brown eyes dart around
everywhere but the line of contact and he constantly apologises for
his self-proclaimed 'stupidity'. Now 20, Jason has been damaged not
only by his three months without a home but also by the series of
events that both forced him onto the streets and robbed him of a
positive sense of self.

After coming out at a Christian high school at 15, he was forced to
leave because of continued harassment. Jason could not supplement
this high-school alienation with support at home. His rural based,
middle-aged Baptist parents responded to his coming out by taking him
to the 'homosexual curing' group Exodus.

"My parents said it was a disease, that is wasn't natural, that was
it curable and that it was not in god's plans for the world," Jason
said.

Jason's traumatic trip to Exodus had two highly contradictory
outcomes, one was that he attended his first session in drag which he
found "liberating and just too funny". But it also had a dark
underbelly, as Jason was led to feel so guilty about and ashamed of
his sexuality that he began to slash him arms on a regular basis. "I
wanted to hurt myself, I wanted to punish myself, I wanted to show my
parents just how much I was hurting," he explains with a kind of
eerie detachment.

The problem was exacerbated when he reached out for help and was
sexually abused by a social worker. Jason's waterloo came when one
afternoon in the car with his mother, she became upset by his cross-
dressing, told him that he going to hell and kicked him out of the
car. "She warned me of God's judgement day and told me it was my
choice but I would suffer the consequence," he said. "But strangely
after she kicked me out she offered to let me back in. "I guess that
just one of the contradictions of my mother."

But Jason did not go back to the car, or his house. He thought life
on the streets would offer less pain than the archaic ideas of his
parents. This period he says was tough to endure: "It was living,
breathing depression and fear. I had nothing, I was nothing." At only
16, Jason was faced with the task of struggling for food, shelter and
money on a daily basis. The short, quiet and thin teenager found so-
called refuge in parks and other public venues. "Sometimes I slept in
parks and train stations. If I had money I'd stay in saunas or I'd
sleep with strangers just to sleep in a warm bed," he says. Jason
used his youthful good looks in other morbid means of survival. He
prostituted himself in beats for spare change and eventually worked
on the streets of St Kilda, but even still he only ever had enough
money to eat once a day, sometimes less. "It's amazing how quickly
you adjust to always being hungry, your body changes so you don't
feel so hungry anymore," explains Jason.

So why didn't Jason use refuges or stay at a friend's house? He
explains that he had a pathological fear and mistrust of anyone
heterosexual, this mistrust often extended to gay people as well. "I
didn't like anyone, I'd been ****ed over everywhere I went," he
said. "I was shy. I had no confidence with people. I couldn't talk to
people. "People just thought I was weird, the only 'friends' I ever
had ****ed me up the arse and then kicked me out the next day."

Jason seemed to get a little uncomfortable when I asked him if he
chose to be homeless because it was kind of a metaphor for how he
felt about himself. I suggested it was perhaps a choice made to
express his deep-seated feeling of belonging nowhere. He seemed to
contemplate the idea, but was a little annoyed and got very
emotional. "I didn't choose to be hated by everyone, some people have
it easy," he responded. "I chose to run away because the alternative
was just unbearable."

Jason's story is a microcosm of a huge problem confronting both the
heterosexual and gay communities. According to Lynn Hillier research
fellow at the Research Centre, gay youth are more at risk than their
heterosexual counterparts of becoming homeless. "Same-sex attracted
youth are over-represented in our research of homeless people," she
said. "The basic reason is that families of same-sex attracted youth
can often be hostile because they don't feel comfortable."


The Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission estimates between
50,000 and 80,000 youth live without a home in Australia. It is also
estimated that between 14 and 30 percent of these are gay, lesbian,
bisexual and transgender youth. Research suggests that the majority
of these are male.

In the United States, however, the situation is much worse with
suggestions that one in four gay and lesbian teenagers leave home as
a result of conflict with their parents. Chris Gill, Brotherhood of
St. Laurence Communications Manager and head of the gay and lesbian
rights lobby, says the reasons for the high numbers of gay, lesbian,
bisexual and transgender homeless youth are obvious. "It's fairly
clear that homophobic rejection of kids and teens by parents can
contribute to gay and lesbian youth being at great risk of
homelessness," Mr Gill said. Even though only a small portion of
homeless youth are actually living on the streets, the effects of
homelessness on the individual are thought to be devastating.

The Research Centre's report of gay, lesbian, bisexual and
transgender youth homelessness called As long as I've got my doona
claims that there are whole range of consequences for living without
a home. "Such as high incidences of unemployment, unstable
accommodation, high levels of drug and alcohol consumption and
inadequate sleep patterns�many homeless youth are also a greater risk
of getting STDs because of sex work and drug use," the report says.

For gay youth the risks of being on the street are increased
dramatically because of their sexuality. Many young gay men find that
the homophobic violence experienced in the home and at schools
becomes a poor second to that experienced on the streets, the report
says. Homophobia also has an impact on gay youth using services, many
have complained that they have experienced various forms of
discrimination in attempting to utilise charity and council services.

Perhaps, as we have seen with Jason, the greatest consequences of
homelessness are psychological. According to Chris James, a
psychologist in private practice: "People living without a home are
much more at risk of depression, low self-esteem and anxiety, often
making them much more at risk for drug abuse". "Gay homeless youth
also get a depressing double dose of isolation," says James. "They
suffer isolation from the mainstream community as a result of being
gay, but because they are homeless these people are often incredibly
isolated from the gay community as well".

So how do we begin to counter such a massive problem? Homelessness is
often conceptualised as the interaction of economic inequalities,
consumerism and the lack of support available to families. But for
gay youth the problem is increased by the discrimination and
homophobia they often experience in their day-to-day lives. What
about people who choose to leave home, should they weather the storm
and face homophobia from their family or rough it on the streets? It
is a question James says is complex and situational and
therefore "difficult to answer (because) if a person is in a
situation where they are abused, removing themselves is appropriate,
but I would never advise for someone to leave without making sure
they had resources." Even though no resources exist in Melbourne
exclusively for gay and lesbian youth having housing problems (like
2010 in Sydney), James believes most organisations are queer
friendly. Some organizations have particularly surprised him. "I know
of a gay couple who were housed by the Salvation Army," he
said. "They were very accepting and even supportive of them as a male
to male couple." And Jason? He eventually moved back to his parents
for a short while after talking to a friend he made during his
ordeal. "This guy told me how he thought my parents loved me, they
just don't like my homosexuality," he said. "Just like I love them
but don't accept their homophobia. I thought it doesn't mean happily
ever after, but going there until I get back on my feet has got to
better than this". Much to his parent's relief, Jason came home. But
after just three weeks he became friends with a girl he met at a
night-club and they moved in together.

Jason still lives out of home, works part-time, has a part in a play
and wants to study arts administration next year. He is reflective of
the difference between his life now and what it was like four years
ago. "It's nice that the only animals I live with now are my pets,
and it's even nicer to know that they are not rats," he says,
chuckling away.

By Luke Williams


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