Jason was only 16 when he was forced to live on the streets because of his family's homophobia. Jason's problem is a hidden but widespread phenomenon according to the Australian Gay and Lesbian Research Centre, which estimates between 10,000 and 13,000 gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth to be living without a home at any one time in Australia.
Jason wears the scars of his past in his gentle but uneasy persona; his hands shake incessantly, his bright brown eyes dart around everywhere but the line of contact and he constantly apologises for his self-proclaimed 'stupidity'. Now 20, Jason has been damaged not only by his three months without a home but also by the series of events that both forced him onto the streets and robbed him of a positive sense of self.
After coming out at a Christian high school at 15, he was forced to leave because of continued harassment. Jason could not supplement this high-school alienation with support at home. His rural based, middle-aged Baptist parents responded to his coming out by taking him to the 'homosexual curing' group Exodus.
"My parents said it was a disease, that is wasn't natural, that was it curable and that it was not in god's plans for the world," Jason said.
Jason's traumatic trip to Exodus had two highly contradictory outcomes, one was that he attended his first session in drag which he found "liberating and just too funny". But it also had a dark underbelly, as Jason was led to feel so guilty about and ashamed of his sexuality that he began to slash him arms on a regular basis. "I wanted to hurt myself, I wanted to punish myself, I wanted to show my parents just how much I was hurting," he explains with a kind of eerie detachment.
The problem was exacerbated when he reached out for help and was sexually abused by a social worker. Jason's waterloo came when one afternoon in the car with his mother, she became upset by his cross- dressing, told him that he going to hell and kicked him out of the car. "She warned me of God's judgement day and told me it was my choice but I would suffer the consequence," he said. "But strangely after she kicked me out she offered to let me back in. "I guess that just one of the contradictions of my mother."
But Jason did not go back to the car, or his house. He thought life on the streets would offer less pain than the archaic ideas of his parents. This period he says was tough to endure: "It was living, breathing depression and fear. I had nothing, I was nothing." At only 16, Jason was faced with the task of struggling for food, shelter and money on a daily basis. The short, quiet and thin teenager found so- called refuge in parks and other public venues. "Sometimes I slept in parks and train stations. If I had money I'd stay in saunas or I'd sleep with strangers just to sleep in a warm bed," he says. Jason used his youthful good looks in other morbid means of survival. He prostituted himself in beats for spare change and eventually worked on the streets of St Kilda, but even still he only ever had enough money to eat once a day, sometimes less. "It's amazing how quickly you adjust to always being hungry, your body changes so you don't feel so hungry anymore," explains Jason.
So why didn't Jason use refuges or stay at a friend's house? He explains that he had a pathological fear and mistrust of anyone heterosexual, this mistrust often extended to gay people as well. "I didn't like anyone, I'd been ****ed over everywhere I went," he said. "I was shy. I had no confidence with people. I couldn't talk to people. "People just thought I was weird, the only 'friends' I ever had ****ed me up the arse and then kicked me out the next day."
Jason seemed to get a little uncomfortable when I asked him if he chose to be homeless because it was kind of a metaphor for how he felt about himself. I suggested it was perhaps a choice made to express his deep-seated feeling of belonging nowhere. He seemed to contemplate the idea, but was a little annoyed and got very emotional. "I didn't choose to be hated by everyone, some people have it easy," he responded. "I chose to run away because the alternative was just unbearable."
Jason's story is a microcosm of a huge problem confronting both the heterosexual and gay communities. According to Lynn Hillier research fellow at the Research Centre, gay youth are more at risk than their heterosexual counterparts of becoming homeless. "Same-sex attracted youth are over-represented in our research of homeless people," she said. "The basic reason is that families of same-sex attracted youth can often be hostile because they don't feel comfortable."
The Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission estimates between 50,000 and 80,000 youth live without a home in Australia. It is also estimated that between 14 and 30 percent of these are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth. Research suggests that the majority of these are male.
In the United States, however, the situation is much worse with suggestions that one in four gay and lesbian teenagers leave home as a result of conflict with their parents. Chris Gill, Brotherhood of St. Laurence Communications Manager and head of the gay and lesbian rights lobby, says the reasons for the high numbers of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender homeless youth are obvious. "It's fairly clear that homophobic rejection of kids and teens by parents can contribute to gay and lesbian youth being at great risk of homelessness," Mr Gill said. Even though only a small portion of homeless youth are actually living on the streets, the effects of homelessness on the individual are thought to be devastating.
The Research Centre's report of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth homelessness called As long as I've got my doona claims that there are whole range of consequences for living without a home. "Such as high incidences of unemployment, unstable accommodation, high levels of drug and alcohol consumption and inadequate sleep patterns�many homeless youth are also a greater risk of getting STDs because of sex work and drug use," the report says.
For gay youth the risks of being on the street are increased dramatically because of their sexuality. Many young gay men find that the homophobic violence experienced in the home and at schools becomes a poor second to that experienced on the streets, the report says. Homophobia also has an impact on gay youth using services, many have complained that they have experienced various forms of discrimination in attempting to utilise charity and council services.
Perhaps, as we have seen with Jason, the greatest consequences of homelessness are psychological. According to Chris James, a psychologist in private practice: "People living without a home are much more at risk of depression, low self-esteem and anxiety, often making them much more at risk for drug abuse". "Gay homeless youth also get a depressing double dose of isolation," says James. "They suffer isolation from the mainstream community as a result of being gay, but because they are homeless these people are often incredibly isolated from the gay community as well".
So how do we begin to counter such a massive problem? Homelessness is often conceptualised as the interaction of economic inequalities, consumerism and the lack of support available to families. But for gay youth the problem is increased by the discrimination and homophobia they often experience in their day-to-day lives. What about people who choose to leave home, should they weather the storm and face homophobia from their family or rough it on the streets? It is a question James says is complex and situational and therefore "difficult to answer (because) if a person is in a situation where they are abused, removing themselves is appropriate, but I would never advise for someone to leave without making sure they had resources." Even though no resources exist in Melbourne exclusively for gay and lesbian youth having housing problems (like 2010 in Sydney), James believes most organisations are queer friendly. Some organizations have particularly surprised him. "I know of a gay couple who were housed by the Salvation Army," he said. "They were very accepting and even supportive of them as a male to male couple." And Jason? He eventually moved back to his parents for a short while after talking to a friend he made during his ordeal. "This guy told me how he thought my parents loved me, they just don't like my homosexuality," he said. "Just like I love them but don't accept their homophobia. I thought it doesn't mean happily ever after, but going there until I get back on my feet has got to better than this". Much to his parent's relief, Jason came home. But after just three weeks he became friends with a girl he met at a night-club and they moved in together.
Jason still lives out of home, works part-time, has a part in a play and wants to study arts administration next year. He is reflective of the difference between his life now and what it was like four years ago. "It's nice that the only animals I live with now are my pets, and it's even nicer to know that they are not rats," he says, chuckling away.
That was such a touching story. Parents should be more accepting of their children! When your parents are unbearable hard on you, you leave. I did. I won't get into my personal story here, but I understand why these kids leave home. I wish there was a safe haven for them.